STOP Chasing your Dream Body! - Do These 10 Steps Instead

There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good. However, many people have tried to create their dream body, so much that they have skipped unto the road of chasing perfection. Beyond the hashtags and popular fitness cultures, we need to stop having body goals and chasing the idea of a perfect body.

How can we stop having body goals? - Avoid the diet mentality trap, online craze, and obsessive workout pitchers in order to do this. To stop the obsessive behaviour, we need to let go of guilt, our unhealthy relationship with food and the delusion of the perfect body image. Food guilt, diet mentality, self-hate and comparison are amongst a few of the reasons as to why we constantly feel like we are chasing the ideal body. By appreciating our individuality and practice self-love without feeling guilty or ashamed, we can slowly but impactful shift into a more healthy body positivity. If we can remove the notion that we must conform to a specific diet, body shape, or pattern to create our happiness, we can actually create the very happiness we ever wanted. To get rid of the constant chase of our body goals we need to start focusing on internal health, happiness and joy, instead of external visual goals. In order to stop having body goals, the understanding of our own body, self-love and internal values are essential. Each person has their own uniqueness, therefore there are no such thing as the perfect body. Hence, body goals simply should not exist.

Running a marathon you can never win

Continually chasing the perfect or ultimate body will make you sick. Not only is the process physically exhausting, but it is also mentally draining. Sadly, for many people, the importance of achieving a certain type of body appearance is the only reason as to why they diet or go to the gym. Unfortunately, the frequent and consistent physical and mental strain will culminate in an emotional and mental drag.

Today, the body is perceived as a tool that which most people feel they can use to build a destiny for themselves. Hence, it is perceived as a malleable body that is affected and transformed by the food we eat and the physical activities we participate in. These days, many people opine that they must have certain body features to be accepted amongst the society, friends and family. The evolution of the media has not made matters better thanks to what many consider as "normal".

Body goals often torture your body rather than helping it. This is because, when exercise, dieting and self-hate towards the body is taken to the extreme, it could stretch your body and mind beyond point and cause huge problems. As a result, many people experience a tremendous amount of stress and pressure, leading to anxiety, depression and eating disorders. You need to acknowledge that your body is neither bad nor flawed. This way, you won’t obsess or feel guilty over what you can do or what you haven’t done.

10 steps on how to stop chasing your dream body

1. Redefine Beauty

Define beauty. Chances are that your definition will be different from mine, and mine from another’s. Why? Because beauty is difficult to define. Hence, it is increasingly difficult to achieve something with no universal definition. The main reason as to why beauty cannot be define is that it has nothing to do with looks and health. Beauty, on the contrary, has everything to do with who you are as a person. And since every single person on this Earth is unique, beauty is only defined by diversity.

The diet and health industry has been growing thanks to the very delusion of body appearance, gym memberships and expensive products. However, the most significant contributor to this never ending marathon is the body goals and dreams that many people have.

Therefore, we need to change the way we view beauty. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look a certain way. However, by constantly chasing that dream, you will end up doing your body more harm than good. Then you can only wave goodbye to those body goals and optimal health dreams. Instead, work with what you already have.

By starting to live with ourselves as we are in the present, instead of cheating on our body with "someone else" in our minds, we can change the very definition of "perfect". The tactic is to start loving yourself in the very moment you are in. By being in the present, it can help remove the pressure connected to your own body goals. Simply make a mental or a physical list of what body goals you have, accept that they have been a part of you, and then let them go for good. The body goals and the delusion of the perfect body will no longer be a part of your everyday life. Instead, make a new list of happiness goals. This defines your beauty. Goals of; Making sure you get a variety of vegetables and fruits into your meals, or making sure it's okay to eat something without labelling the food as "bad".

2. Avoid the diet mentality trap

Diet mentality is a fast-rising belief that specific diets can create happiness. Diet mentality is the mentality in our head and/or what society says is "good" or "bad" food. With this type of mentality, you are either a good or a bad person depending on what you eat. Hence, until you reach the goal, you don’t deserve to be happy. This is wrong. Food has no moral. The mentality slowly erodes whatever trust you have in your body and replaces it with external rules and values. As a result, it disconnects you from your body and related sensations.

The diet mentality loop is indulging, restricting, and guilt reeling. It does not just restrict you; but it forces you to think about alternatives that appear more important that your own happiness. Don’t attempt to control your body and let it do what it is naturally designed to do. You will be surprised to know that your body is smart. It can regulate and balance itself and tell you what it wants. However, this will only become obvious when you stop restricting it through your diet.

To take care of this, understand that there is no good or bad food. The food you're eating, does not define your health. Therefore, we need to reject this diet mentality once and for all. Instead of eating after the mental rules of which food to eat or not. Eat after your sensations. If you are hungry, eat what your body desire. Your body will tell you when you're full. This is called intuitive eating. Whatever you eat, eat it with enjoyment and no guilt.

3. What happens online stays online

The popularity of online opinions is another reason why many try to conform to obsessive fitness goals. Pictures of #fitspo and dreamy lifestyles that you see on social media needs to be avoided. Often, pictures like these tempt you to feel you are not good enough or that you should be exercising more and eating less. This makes you wanting to hold on to the diet mentality and feeds your negative emotions about yourself. It is the perfect environment for developing anxiety, depression, self-hate and eating disorders.

What you can do is to unfollow unnecessary accounts that instigate fitness obsessions and goals. Unfollow people and accounts that make you feel bad about your self, or advocate a certain way of living in order to be perfect. Protect your mind.

4. Don’t join the comparison game

The goal of what most people post online is to get you to compare themselves with others. When you do this, you have unknowingly joined the comparison game. Hence, even if a photo is digitally enhanced, you still attempt to compare yourself with it. Also in the real world, humans do this unintentionally. Pay attention to when you compare yourself to something. Rather focus on improving the way you feel about yourself, because their life has nothing to do with you.

The goal is not to be perfect; it is about accepting and loving yourself. Instead of focusing on how to look compared to others, you should focus on your strength, mental health and other attributes. Don’t focus on the inner critics of comparison and become the victim, but rather stay the master of yourself by being grateful for what you have.

5. Work towards the bigger picture

The world around us focuses more on the external look. However, there are more important things besides whether you have cellulites, tummy rolls and acne. These things are perfectly normal and do not define your health and beauty.

Try to shift emphasis from physical appearance, towards satisfaction and inner feelings instead. Find joy in doing other activities besides exercising and eating. For example, to try to break unhealthy physical obsession, plan activities that you love to loosen your grip on such obsessions. Find a cause to remind yourself that there are different things in life that can make you happy beyond body goals/image.

Do note, though, that there is nothing wrong with creating a physical goal for yourself and your body, provided that you are motivated by intrinsic values. A physical goal with an internal motivation of health COMBINED with happiness and functionality is okay, as long as it's not a choice based on the strive for perfection, appearance or acceptance.

6. Change your obsession

This point is closely linked to the earlier point of diet mentality.

People, both men and women, have been a victim of cultural dominance on looks. Most cultures define beauty by how people should look and what they eat, and in turn often cause eating disorders and related malpractices. Science has found that there is a close relationship between eating disorders and inadequacy (not feeling good enough).

Due to the constant diet mentality, many people resort to starvation and crash diets to reach their body goals faster. Some take more extreme measures with vomiting and purging, while others resort to laxatives and other substances. The reason for most people is the same; an outcome of image dissatisfaction.

Everything around you becomes about food, and the diet takes over the different parts of your life. You don’t need to eliminate specific foods to chase your body goals. Instead, focus more on eating a balanced diet that nourish your body and soul. Moreover, the emphasis should be on wellness and not physical appearance. Your overall wellness is more important than the way you look.  

If you suspect that you suffer, or maybe know someone else that suffer from food obsession, any eating disorder or other mental problems due to pressure, eating and such, please seek professional help. I cannot stress this enough. You do not need to have some sort of diagnosis to be struggling with food. It is okay to ask for help. Find someone who can help you on the path of recovering, intuitive eating and self-love. It is crucial to make peace with food and heal your own relationship with yourself in order to get rid of the unhealthy body goals and body image perfection.                                                                                   

7. Trim your relationships

Your connections and relationships with people affect how you perceive yourself. Unhealthy relationships will reflect how we feel about ourselves. These types of relationships will make us feel guilty, bad, not deserving of happiness and love, and in worse case wear us down. In turn, they can directly or indirectly trigger obsessive eating patterns and/or negative behaviours of body goals/image.

You can find out whether a relationship with a friend or family member is damaging or nourishing, by asking yourself some questions. Do this person nourish my happiness and joy when we are together? Do this person bring up good qualities in me or make me a bad person? Am I looking forward to call or meet this person, or does the thought of it drain my energy?

By answering these questions, you will find out whether you need to let this person go or not, in order to protect your mind from body shaming and guilt, and to heal your relationship with yourself.

8. Avoid the thinking errors

The secret to living a fulfilled and refreshing life while appreciating the way you look is more of a mental exercise. Since the secret is to appreciate yourself the way you look and not look to anyone for approval, not gravitating towards specific thinking errors are crucial.

Thinking errors are ways people think that makes them feel less of themselves. Amongst many, some of them include:

• Magnifying or Catastrophizing: The process of viewing yourself or a present situation worse than it is. For example, assuming no one will love you because you gained a few pounds.

• All or nothing mindset: Assuming that there is no middle ground where you fit in. For example, thinking you are a total failure because you don’t meet the physical criteria you feel someone/society gives you.

• Emotional reasoning: Transforming your emotional reasoning and using it to place a value on your intrinsic worth. For example, I am fat; therefore, I am a loser.

Negative thinking will ultimately interfere with your life. Hence, it would help if you watched out for these factors that trigger such thoughts and emotions. Whenever you catch yourself thinking these sentences, simple just observe the thought, without judging it or letting it own you. Then simply let it go. Be a thought police, and don't allow yourself to create these body goals and images of yourself.

9. Show yourself some love

Instead of having body goals, create self-love goals. Self-love or compassion is understanding that there is no definition of perfect. Nonetheless, you love your body just the way it is and give yourself permission to show up as you are. The flaws you see in yourself, someone else loves. Be that person and love all parts of your body equally!

Something that can help your self-love routine is to create self-care routines for your everyday life. Make time for you. Do the things you love, things that nourish your body and soul, and only focus on the things that actually makes you happy. These things can be eating your favourite snack without guilt, taking a bubble bath, or meditation. Self-love is also about showing yourself that body goals is not the only way to go when it comes to happiness; Self-care is.

10. Appreciate individuality

There are more than seven billion people in the world. Hence, it will be wrong to compare yourself with someone else. People have different skin textures, colours, shapes, and appearances. Acne or not, you are shining. Cellulites and tummy rolls or not, you appear breathtaking and stunning. This is normal! We need to normalise being normal. There is no need for you to have body goals. When you don't appreciate your individuality and your uniqueness, the only thing that is stopping you from achieving happiness, is yourself. Chase the happiness, then true beauty and health will follow.